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Retaining Your Nanny: 10 Secrets to a Happy, Long-Term Relationship.

Updated: Oct 18, 2023

Happy Nanny holding a happy child

Finding the perfect nanny can be a game-changer for busy parents. Your children are happy, you can head to work with peace of mind, and everything runs like clockwork. It's a winning situation for everyone involved. However, the role of a nanny is pivotal, and without them, it can all come crashing down. At Absolute Childcare, with 25 years of experience in nanny recruitment, we understand why nannies leave their positions and we are here to share the key reasons, enabling you to hold onto your nanny and maintain your sanity.

  1. Overly Micro-Managed: Hiring a nanny means entering a trusting partnership. If you find yourself constantly questioning every decision your nanny makes, it can create tension. Give your nanny freedom, trust their expertise, and only focus on your firm sticking points. Trusting your nanny builds mutual respect, ensuring a harmonious relationship.

  2. Feeling Isolated: Nannies need social interaction too. Encourage activities that allow them to establish social circles and gain new experiences with your children. Trust your nanny to take your children for walks, arrange playdates, or explore the local community. Allow them the freedom to enjoy social experiences, and both your nanny and child will be happier for it.

  3. Lack of Communication: Effective communication is the bedrock of a nanny-parent relationship. Make time to have regular catch-ups with your nanny (during working hours) and listen to their concerns. Treat them as professionals, ask for feedback, and show appreciation. A valued nanny is more likely to stay.

  4. Change of Job Responsibilities: Discuss duties and responsibilities with your nanny during the interview process and outline them in the contract. Changing these responsibilities without discussion or compensation can lead to resentment. Respect your nanny's agreed-upon role to maintain a positive working relationship.

  5. Changing Schedules: Nannies have a life too and rely on set schedules. Discuss any changes well in advance, and don't assume your nanny can accommodate sudden shifts without notice. Seek compromise when schedules change to ensure both parties are satisfied.

  6. Lack of Appreciation. Nannies play a vital role in your child's life. Show your appreciation regularly through small gestures like thank-you notes or homemade cards from the children on birthdays. Recognise the importance of their role, and remember special occasions.

  7. Different Childcare Philosophies: Aligning childcare philosophies is crucial. Ensure your nanny's approach aligns with yours regarding discipline, sleep training, education, and meals. Consistency is key for your child's development - ensure you are a united front in when in the presence of your children.

  8. Family Friction: Maintain a harmonious environment at home. Avoid displaying negative behaviour or unresolved conflicts in front of your nanny. Create a safe, respectful workspace for everyone.

  9. Contract, Wage, and Tax Issues: Fairness is essential when it comes to contract terms, wages, and taxes. Stick to the terms outlined in the contract, and avoid practices like banking of hours. Pay your nanny on time and provide accurate pay slips outlining taxes, National Insurance, and pension contributions.

  10. Poached (with better terms): Good nannies are hard to find - hold on to them. Keep your nanny happy by staying informed about market rates and offering annual pay raises at the market rate. A content nanny is less likely to explore better offers elsewhere.

A mum and a dad hugging their children and smiling, everyone is happy


A great nanny can make your life easier and your children happier. By addressing these key factors, you can cultivate a long-term, harmonious relationship with your nanny.

At Absolute Childcare, we have 25 years of experience helping families find the perfect nanny. Contact us for expert assistance in your nanny search and enjoy the stability of a long-lasting partnership.

Happy nanny, happy children, and happy parents—everyone wins!

If you would like to secure a top notch nanny, please do not hesitate to get in touch:

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